GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Randomize
