And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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