Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
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I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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