I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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