you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
