Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
