you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
