It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
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