i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Randomize