508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
