You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
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