It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
