I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
