Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
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