Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
