U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Randomize
