Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
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