home. puking in laundry basket.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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