I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
