True but thats because hes a fetus.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Drake has all the answers
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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