do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
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i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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