hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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