There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
it's like heaven, but drunker
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
