you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Blood and glitter go together right?
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
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