worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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