Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
These 21 Drunks Said The Darndest Things
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
This gyro tastes like lonliness
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
These 25 Irresponsible People Blew All Their Cash On Drugs, Booze, & Sex
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.