sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
