OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
