fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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