I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
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