i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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