what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Randomize