their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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