Pappa wants mamma naked
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Randomize
