jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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