is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
