Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
