i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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