I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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