if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
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