Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
