I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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