She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
