I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
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