Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Randomize
