Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
