Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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