this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
