so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I think we might need a safe word for this...
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
