im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
we're so committed to being not committed
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
