hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
