How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
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