did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
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