I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
