when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Randomize
