were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
