Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
