im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
