Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
