he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Mom said you looked used
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
