she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
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