I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize
